ibullychildren — iRewatch iCarly

iBully Children

In the iPremier of iRewatch iCarly, Circe and Nat give a brief background of the creep who created iCarly, discuss throwing it back as a child, and dive into the first ever episode of iCarly, the iPilot.

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Drink Counter

Nat

Circe

Pour It Up

For this episode, Circe was sipping on White Claw and Nat was drinking Natty Lite. Of course, they needed it because they watched the iPilot 3 times to prepare for the iPremier! Who can handle that much Nickelodeon sober?

Comeuppance

The dynamic duo recorded this podcast two and a half times! The girls were not satisfied with their first one, so they rerecorded. Then, halfway through recording the second one, Circe realized her mic was off!

Crowd Goes "Awwwww"

Circe and Natalie met for the first time over Valentine's day weekend in 2021 and decided to create this podcast the day they met!

Sam Being Toxic

2

Gratuitous Foot Shots

1

Spencer Taking His Pants Off In Front of Carly

N/A

Ratio of Shirtless Gibby to Talking Gibby

0:0

Sexual Innuendo

1

Our Notes

iCarly General Info

iCarly is based in seattle where Carly lives with her brother Spencer who is a 26 year old artist. The show centers around Carly and her two friends Sam and Freddie as they start a web show that becomes an instant hit. It follows their new lives as internet stars while going to Ridgeway Middle School and all of their crazy 2007 troubles
iCarly was created by Dan Schneider (he also created Victorious, Zoey 101, Drake & Josh, The Amanda Show to name a few)
Nickelodeon has since distanced themselves from Dan Schneider, although it’s only speculated it’s due to his creepiness and general sexual proclivity towards his child stars.
Main Cast:
- Carly – Miranda Cosgrove
- Spencer – Jerry Trainor
- Sam – Jennette McCurdy
- Freddie – Nathan Kress

iPilot Plot

Premiered in 2007 with 4.1 million viewers
We are introduced to Carly who is a young teenager in eighth grade living in Seattle. Her friend Freddie accidentally leaks a video of her and her best friend Sam on the internet and then they decide to create an online web show
iPilot was directed by Steve Hoefer (also directed drake & josh, zoey 101, victorious, all that, etc)
Ms. Briggs – Mindy Sterling (linda schwartz in the goldbergs, frau farbissina in 3 austin powers movies)
Principal Franklin – Tim Russ (tuvok in star trek, general gottleib in sharknado 3)

Cold Open

Episode starts with Principal Franklin at his desk in his office laughing at the picture carly is getting in trouble for
- Obama coded, intro to leftist undertones
- Nebraska State diploma in background
Ms. Briggs walks in and then Carly follows
- First carly intro
- Woo and clap track
- Riding the wave of Drake and Josh fame
- Jesus?
- Catholic guilt
- This is the most relevant the Catholic church has been since Twilight they should be happy.
Carly is in trouble because she photoshopped (“photo doc”) Briggs onto the body of a rhino and put them as flyers around the school
Franklin thinks it’s a hippo
Briggs and Carly start explaining the diff between a hippo and a rhino
- Talk about the humor of the early 2000s
- Over explanatory - funny because it’s obvious and doesn’t need to be explained
- Add in ur thots here
Want to call her dad to discuss but dad is in the military and stationed in Europe – cue spencer intro as the adult in charge of her
Briggs “oh yes the ARTIST” Carly “hes a great artist!!!”
- Stigma with being an artist and not having an “actual career”
- Carly standing up for her brother
Briggs has to come up with a punishment – puts Carly in charge of videotaping the talent show auditions for her this Saturday
Carly doesn’t want to because she’s going to see Cuddlefish (band) play that day
- First Cuddlefish intro
Another fight about hippo v. rhino

Title Sequence

Why does the theme song go so hard
Drake bell is featured as the background vocals in the theme song
Written by Michael Corcoran - in Drake Bell’s band - written songs for victorious, drake and josh, shake it up, etc
- Ignore - Future ref .. His band Backhouse Mike, which consisted of lead singer and guitarist Jon Seminara, bassist John Charles Meyer, and keyboardist Kimberly Barnett) appeared in the iCarly episode "iAm Your Biggest Fan" and the final episode of Zoey 101, "Chasing Zoey," using the name Backflesh. The band's song "Take Me Back" appears on the iCarly soundtrack.
Peaked at number 100 on billboard hot 100
- Miranda and drakes first hot 100 hit
- Lasted only 1 week on the chart LOL
Instead of “live life, breathe air” circe thought it said “live life, prevair”
Prevair isn’t even a word, she described “prevail” and made her own word
I never claimed to be literate
In the intro video there’s sam and carly wiggling their toes
- first toe sighting - not the first foot scene so don’t track
- dan schneiders foot fetish

Act I

sam pushing kid into locker because he called her aggressive, sam goes and what am i? “pretty and sweet”
- First sam intro
- Sam is ur idol and how thats how u were as a child
- ……. I am the child being shoved in the locker
carly comes in through front door, pulls sam by hair and yells at her because she took the blame for sam about the flyers because sam was going to get expelled if she got in trouble, carly says to stop doing bad stuff and sam says to “chillax” and carly says no because now she has to miss the show and do the auditions
carly tells sam she’s joining and sam says whatev and then carly goes “anybody but me would punch you in the head” sam says “that’s why ur my best friend” carly goes “good, now why are you mine?” and storms off, sam follows saying “because im a lovable person” as she pushes kid in locker
- talk about unhealthy friendships of the early 2000s
- Sam being toxic counter
Scene cuts to carly at her apt door and drops water bottle, freddie runs out and gives it to her and says he was gunna walk her home but couldnt find her, and was looking thru peephole waiting for her to get home, carly clearly uncomfy and says that they can be buds but hes gotta get over the crush
Freddie “im in love with u and u just want to be friends and im cool living in that constant pain”
- First freddie intro
- Creepy boys being in love with u and not getting the hint that its weird
- Freddie is SO SMALL AND YOUNG LOOKING
- Platform shoes tidbit
Spencer taking pics hanging from the ceiling of his robot sculpture
- First spencer intro
- Old school camera clicks and flashing
Carly “If most eighth grade girls came home and found their 26 yr old dangling upside down on the ceiling dangling over a giant robot made out of soda bottles it’d be weird” spencer “you’re saying im abnormal”
- Info dump line
- Another time where spencer is “not normal” and weird
Spencer falls and dislocates shoulder, then jumps on floor to relocate it
- Health care discussion
Carly asks to borrow his camera - spencer turned it into a squirrel sculpture
Scene cuts to carly walking into the school auditorium
Freddie has entire table of equipment set up with spotlights, pear laptop, huge video cam, etc
Carly “i just asked to borrow ur video cam”
“What do you think of my equipment?!”
Freddie starts explaining all of the equipment he brought and brought her OJ and a bagel on a platter with a flower
- Discuss how expensive it is IRL
- Where is he getting all of this
- Money??????
Sam comes in “you invited the doof” freddie “i didn’t know THAT was going to be here” sam “she. Im a she freddie as in girl”
- Doof is such an old insult
- Sam the pronoun queen
Freddie - dont touch AV equip Sam - awww i cant play w white balance (s) Freddie - stupid nerd joke about white balance and skin tones
Sam “carly will never love you” freddie goes to leave Carly “plz stay” *puppy dog eyes* freddie immediately stays
- Freddie being the simp blueprint
- Carly clearly using this to her advantage in this moment
Scene cuts to auditions
- Audition 1 -
  - Jeb
    - Jeb bush joke LOL I WROTE THIS TOO
  - French Play - La Eu Eh Ma Fem (L’ou est ma femme)
    - [speaking French] subtitles
  - But but where did she go? I DON’T KNOW (mustache) But when will she be back? I DON’T KNOW (mustache) Well where can i find her? I TELL YOU I DO NOT KNOW (mustache)
  - Is this a who’s on first whats on second i dont know is on third.
  - Jeb leaves
  - Carly and sam going back and forth I DON’T KNOW I DO NOT KNOW
- Aud 2 -
  - Girl playing cello
  - Carly asleep
  - rude
- Aud 3 -
  - Girl playing trumpet while jumping on pogo stick
  - Woo track and girls love it
- Aud 4 -
  - Chunky fat ginger kid
  - So i say “i liked the eggs” starts laughing and jumping around and then sprints off the stage
    - Reminds me of the kid from the goonies
    - Circe making fun of me because there is a huge time diff
    - Yes because IRL you were like, THATS THE KID FROM THE GOONIES
- Girls say it wasn’t funny, but say he looks like briggs because of hair and glasses but he doesn’t have briggs’ “crazy pointy boobs”
- Freddie pans camera over to record the girls shooting the shit and making fun of briggs boobs
  - Weird that he’s recording them???
  - Also they weren’t being THAT funny, just typical middle schoolers
  - Okay, but also think about being a middle school teacher. They’re literally body shaming. Pointy boobs were trendy in the 40s/50s. Vintage legend ms. Briggs.
- Aud 5 -
  - Beat boxing kid
  - EWIE EWIE
  - [bad beat boxing] subtitle

Act II

Cuts to sam and carly asleep on couch
Carly wakes sam up with her bare toes on face
- 10:03 seconds is the first footsighting
- Who does that
- Dan schneider foot fetish
- “Gratuitous foot shots” - start counter
Carly asks sam when her mom is picking her up, sam says she told mom she was staying the night, carly says she didnt invite her to stay the night and sam says oh well because im staying
- Sam being toxic again
Carly goes on computer to check if Freddie uploaded the audition tapes to “SplashFace” (iCarlyverse youtube) since she told briggs she would upload them there
Sam is talking about how she put raw chicken in Brigg’s purse and Briggs called her a demon
Freddie uploaded them instead of the auditions
Sam “we were being all goofy and acting like idiots all day”
Both of them freaking out about briggs possibly seeing them making fun of her pointy boobs
Carly - “Anyone can see it!! It’s on splashface” Sam - “chillax”
- Second use of the word chillax in the entire series and the last, but that used to be a trendy word. But it doesn’t appear in later episodes.
View count - sam “only 27 people” Carly “.............27 THOUSAND”
- Bc it was abbreviated by the “27k” Sam doesn’t know what bands are
Scene cuts to sam dragging freddie by his feet from across the hall into carlys apt in his lil matching pjs
- He looks so tiny in those PJs, also he’s acting his little heart out
Yelling asking why he filmed them, freddie like oh cause y’all were being funny, sam “well you shouldnt have put us online without our permission”
- Consent queen
Freddie saying he edited them out before uploading auditions and carly saying he did the opp and hes like theres no way!!!
- I dont believe this tech genius can accidentally do that … sketch
- Freddie was a master manipulator into getting them to do a live show for which they would need his expertise thus enabling him to be around Carly more so he could get her to fall in love with him.
Carly asks to take it down, “anyone in the world can see” “embarrassing esp if briggs can see”
Freddie says it’ll be removed tomorrow morn but to check the message boards before freaking out to see what they’re saying about the video
Funny stuff, you guys crack me up, you guys are hilarious whens the next show, way better than most of the pUKE on here
- Freddie doesnt read it but on the screen in all caps is one saying carly you’re hot!!
- Message boards are old af
- - Again … how is this funny
  - Scene cuts to sam and carly back at school waiting for briggs and freaking if she saw it or not, sam says she was prob in church yest and didnt see it carly - “what church would let briggs in the door”
    - Ok aggressive
    - Ms. Briggs is a demon? So when she called Sam a demon was she projecting?
  - Give briggs a Cd of auditions saying they had trouble putting it online, briggs says she’ll try not to poke w her pointy BOSSOMS - so she clearly watched vid online
    - Let’s have some sympathy for the demon… if kids were like this towards me I’d be mean to them, too.
  - Briggs walked away, carly gives her list of kids she thinks should be in talent show, briggs reads “snorting milk, pogo stick hopping? These aren’t talents”
    - Is she wrong? No.
  - Sam says they were most fun to watch, briggs pfft bye, carly says soooo you’re not gunna let any of the kids we picked be in the show??
  - Briggs behind door creepy “thats right……..girls…..” and walks away
    - Indicative of Sterling’s acting prowess, that line was chilling.
  - Beat box kid shows up with mic in hand beat boxing - EWIE EWIE - carly “NO ONE ENJOYS THAT” beat box kid sad and walks away while still beat boxing

Act III

Scene cuts to carly and sam walking into carlys apt “I AM SO MAD”
- Info dump
- Every time someone walks into the apt it’s an info dump, they use it to set the scene of whatever is happening
Sam “i need some ham”
Girls eating and it being their personality
Sam is quirky because she eats and loves food
Jennette McCurdy had an eating disorder during production
“hated her even after she got the brown lump from her nose removed”
Freddie comes in and makes the same comment about the lump on brigg’s nose as sam did
- Freddie knocks on door, carly lets him in, “she is what’s wrong with the world” freddie “hey at least she got that brown lump taken off her nose”
- WHY IS THAT THE FIRST THOUGHT HE HAS FJDHJKFS
- Joke because sam just said that
- Honestly first sign that freddie and sam are kinda like meant for each other … because their minds are in sync
“Adults like her get to controls what kids can do and see” - carly
- Anti-censorship queen
Sam carving into an entire ham and only focused on that
Carly talks about starting a weekly webshow because of what those comments on the message boards said and sam doesn’t really want to put work into it but says that she’ll show up and be her sidekick
- Carly - “remember what the kids said about us on the message boards, like we should upload more vids and whens our next show, and we want more, lets give them more”
- sam “more?? What u mean”
- carly - lets do a web show online every week
- Sam - why?
- Carly - “because it can be whatever we want it to be, no adults to say you can do this, you cant do that, we can do/say whatever we want”
- Sam “but …. Work?”
- Carly “well yeah you gotta prep”
- Sam “eh then make it your show, you do the work and i’ll just show up and be your amusing little sidekick”
- Freddie “what will show be about”
- Carly “everything, diff show every week, but first show is kids w bizarro talents” w the talent show kids they liked
  - Sam kind of mooching off carly, but at least shes being up front about not planning on putting work into it??
  - But I think, later on, Sam is putting just as much energy into it.
Freddie suggests iCarly name - i = internet carly = you , they both like it
Freddie offers to be technical producer, sam “awww he wants to be our geek” freddie freaking out “YOU GOT A BIG MOUTH LADY” (again freddie acting his heart out)
- They should be happy to have his help because he has all this cool ass equip and also is a genius …. But he do be creepy
- But also, tech shit is hard, neither of them could have done iCarly without him.
Spencer runs in with a mannequin he found in the dumpster, carly “hey can we use the 3rd floor as kind of a Tv studio” spencer “uhhhhh” carly “thnx” spencer “okay later”
Scene cut to carly and sam prepping for ep and freddie counting down running around apt to get a drink and calling sam while freddie is counting down from 52 seconds, both get into elevator and start going over what the plan is for the show talking at the same time
Carly has something in teeth, sam is all up in carly mouth and theyre jumping around and screaming for no reason up until freddie says 2 and - and they immediately stop and go right into character and intro themselves
The first iCarly episode is called iPilot, and the first iCarly webcast is called iPremier
iCarly and LIVE signs in background on wall
- This is their FIRST ep
Sam shows off their sound remote that looks like a brick - “provided by our dorky friend freddie” “that’s disrespectful!”
First time we see the icarly.com website and their video feed that says LIVE on it
- Website tabs:
  - Blogs
  - Snaps
  - News
  - Video
  - Play
  - Songs
  - Need help
  - Send stuff
- Cool webcast highlights
  - Cool webcast highlights
  - Your videos
  - Awesome extras
  - See more vids
  - Your vids
  - Send to a friend
- Do you have a crazy talent? We wanna see it! Submit your vids here
Diff buttons make diff sounds, last has lights and music, girls start dancing
Talents
- Simon Kendall
  - Snorts milk and then squirts from eyes
  - Okay, instead of drinking the milk normally, he pour it into his hand and drinks it...
  - Girls screaming
- Brennan Yubberly
  - Can say any word backwards
  - Girls screaming
- Girl with a goat leaving apt
- Sam “im hungry” carly “you can eat soon bc webcast is almost over”
  - Again with sam talking about food
- Carly and sam saying to tell everyone that they’re going to be live every week at icarly.com and to send them a video of them doing anything cool at icarly.com and it’ll get showed on webshow
- Taryn James
  - Pogo stick trumpet girl
  - Girls screaming and jumping with her
- Freddie “and we’re clear!” everyone jumping around excited because first webcast is over
- Scene cuts to all three of them checking the views on icarly.com first webcast - 37,000 views, all scream
  - Talk about how unrealistic that is
- Spencer comes out of nowhere wearing a shirt with a spray painted S and a fake tie on it and joins in the jumping and screaming
  - Spencer being a fashion icon
- Spencer asks why theyre screaming, carly says first web show rocked and sam says watched by over 37,000 people - spencer excited pulls her in and messes up her hair “my baby sisters a web star!”
  - This was a time when children were straight up not allowed to be on the internet. Most kids had to hide their myspace’s from their parents. It had a negative connotation to “be online” in that way.
- Sam wants to have a party to celebrate, spencer says yes but that it shouldn’t be a normal, regular party, it needs to be different and “wonderfully random” carly says “crazy hat party”
- Scene cuts to this crazy hat party at the apt .. literally like 50 middle school kids at this apt
  - How is spencer cool with this???
  - Bc spencer be creepy sometimes
  - Okay also, who are these children. How did they get invited to the party if they aren’t /friends/ with them
- Sam wearing a huge hat with horns, carly wearing a blue glittery cowboy hat ………
- Two girls , one around their age, the other a legit child, come running up to them and ask for their autographs saying they love icarly, their webshow
  - Another over explain - we all know that icarly is the webshow …. Especially the hosts of the show
  - why are they HUGE fans after one episode?!
  - Also, sign of the times, a signature instead of a selfie………. Ok 2007
- The girls are like ummmm *shy* ok sure and sign
- Little girl “i love you carly” and just jumps on carly to give her a hug
- Carly “wow! I just signed an autograph” sam “get used to it icarlys a great show you might get famous” carly “idk if im gunna like that”
- Two greasy ass boys one wearing a fedora and the other wearing one of those old grandpa golfing hats come up to the girls and are like “hey saw the web show … pretty hot…..”
  - Ok my grandpa used to wear those hats be nice
  - So does mine <3
  - Ok flex that ur gpa is still alive
- The girls give each other eyes O.O and are like *shy* *debbie ryan* “ummmm thnx”
- Guys ask girls to dance, carly immediately says yes
- Carly to sam “im gunna like it 🙂 “ (referring to being famous)
- Go “dance” with these boys by jumping around in middle of the living room
- Goonies kid comes running into living room w spencers mannequin he found in the dumpster earlier and spencer is chasing this CHILD around his apt trying to catch him yelling “get off shes not for you, put her down, how pitiful, who invited you”
  - AS IF HE ISNT A GROWN ASS MAN WHO COULD EASILY CATCH HIM AND KICK HIM OUT OF HIS APT
- Episode ends with carly in the middle of all of the kids jumping around “dancing” and she randomly decides top take her cowboy hat off and throw it in the air and scream WOO

End Credit Scene

Credits roll with a video of the computer screen that has a video of this kid with an aggressive BOWL CUT sitting at a tiny table with books ?? and hes spinning a basketball on his finger with his bowl cut swaying in the wind and then he puts the spinning ball on a pencil and then on the antenna of an old big cell phone